It's amazing to think that you spend your life trying to make something work, just to find out that it was never working to begin with.
It's amazing to realize that someone that you thought loved you, really couldn't care less.
It's amazing to wake up one day and just know that there is no emotion left in anything that you do.
It's amazing to have to try and figure out what your next move will be, and how you will possibly move on yet again.
It's amazing to know that after all the tries, and false starts, and failed attempts, that being alone really is the only option.
It's amazing that no matter how much you try to convince yourself that you aren't hurt and that you'll be ok, you can't really believe it.
Sometimes the things that amaze me aren't good. But they are still amazing.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Jenny Dryerase - So sad...
I'm sure by now we've all heard about the remarkable "Jenny Dryerase", who quit her job through a series of photos where she wrote her message out on a dry erase board. I saw the link on Facebook, and as I scrolled through the photos I felt like this girl was a hero. I LOVED the concept, I thought it was amazing.
But, of course, it was all a hoax :(
I'm still pondering this stunt though, and still thinking about how it spoke to me, and apparently so many others, in this time of job uncertainty and economic stress.
I'm lucky. I love my job and the people that I work with. I don't make nearly enough money, but I do OK for a chick with an AAS in Teacher Ed. (Thank GOD I'm starting school in a few weeks. I need my bachelor's ASAP!) There are others of us though, that aren't so lucky.
I get the feeling that folks are hanging on to jobs for fear of being included in the next unemployment percentage on the news. People have taken jobs they think are below them, stayed in jobs they despise, and it's all out of fear. I understand that, I really do. And that's why I think "Jenny" spoke to us all.
She had the courage to say "screw the economy, forget the fact that it may be months or years before I find another job, I'm NOT going to stay where I'm unhappy". It took balls. Brass ones. I'm sure it's something that tons of folks would like to do, but simply can't. So, hat's off to Jenny Dry erase, even though she isn't real.
But, of course, it was all a hoax :(
I'm still pondering this stunt though, and still thinking about how it spoke to me, and apparently so many others, in this time of job uncertainty and economic stress.
I'm lucky. I love my job and the people that I work with. I don't make nearly enough money, but I do OK for a chick with an AAS in Teacher Ed. (Thank GOD I'm starting school in a few weeks. I need my bachelor's ASAP!) There are others of us though, that aren't so lucky.
I get the feeling that folks are hanging on to jobs for fear of being included in the next unemployment percentage on the news. People have taken jobs they think are below them, stayed in jobs they despise, and it's all out of fear. I understand that, I really do. And that's why I think "Jenny" spoke to us all.
She had the courage to say "screw the economy, forget the fact that it may be months or years before I find another job, I'm NOT going to stay where I'm unhappy". It took balls. Brass ones. I'm sure it's something that tons of folks would like to do, but simply can't. So, hat's off to Jenny Dry erase, even though she isn't real.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
What to do, what to do.....
I love music as a way to express what I'm thinking and feeling. I often turn to song lyrics in order to say something more accurately. For example, the title of my blog is from a Billy Joel song called Summer, Highland Falls. The title of this post is from a song by The Drifters. I'm bursting with song lyrics from every genre, and soemtimes they infuse my speaking and writing without my even knowing it.
You can probably guess by the title of this post that I'm wondering what to do. I'm wondering where my life is going. I'm not quite sure which direction to turn in, even though some things are fairly well laid out for me.
School starts in just a few weeks. I'm really excited about this. I can't wait to start learning in a formal way again. Maybe that makes me a geek. I don't know.
The babe starts her new babysitter on the 23rd. I'm SUPER excited about this after all the nonsense and angst I've been through with my sister. I think it's going to be a much better situation for everyone. And maybe, just maybe, I won't have to kill my sister. I don't think that my mother would appreciate it.
My biggest dilema right now is what to do about the boyfriend. I love him. He's a wonderful man. I'm just not sure that we're right together. And frankly, if I'm not sure now, I don't know if spending years trying to figure it out is worth it in the long run. Here's the situation.
I know for a fact (don't ask how) that he's having an ongoing and inappropriate convo with someone through Facebook messages. It's sticking in my craw. And I've gotten to the point where I just think of us as roommates, because it makes me less likely to start breaking things in the kitchen. Essentially, if I was financially stable enough to call it quits, I would do it without even thinking. (God, that sounds terrible.) But, I have to think of the babe and make sure that I don't make any rash moves.
So, I'm left with the dilema of "what to do". Do I call him out? Do I keep simmering? Do I just disappear one day with no explanation? WHAT do I DO?
What would YOU do?
You can probably guess by the title of this post that I'm wondering what to do. I'm wondering where my life is going. I'm not quite sure which direction to turn in, even though some things are fairly well laid out for me.
School starts in just a few weeks. I'm really excited about this. I can't wait to start learning in a formal way again. Maybe that makes me a geek. I don't know.
The babe starts her new babysitter on the 23rd. I'm SUPER excited about this after all the nonsense and angst I've been through with my sister. I think it's going to be a much better situation for everyone. And maybe, just maybe, I won't have to kill my sister. I don't think that my mother would appreciate it.
My biggest dilema right now is what to do about the boyfriend. I love him. He's a wonderful man. I'm just not sure that we're right together. And frankly, if I'm not sure now, I don't know if spending years trying to figure it out is worth it in the long run. Here's the situation.
I know for a fact (don't ask how) that he's having an ongoing and inappropriate convo with someone through Facebook messages. It's sticking in my craw. And I've gotten to the point where I just think of us as roommates, because it makes me less likely to start breaking things in the kitchen. Essentially, if I was financially stable enough to call it quits, I would do it without even thinking. (God, that sounds terrible.) But, I have to think of the babe and make sure that I don't make any rash moves.
So, I'm left with the dilema of "what to do". Do I call him out? Do I keep simmering? Do I just disappear one day with no explanation? WHAT do I DO?
What would YOU do?
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