Brinner Experiments

So, last night I was trying to use up things that I had in the house for dinner. I had planned on making french toast, but it seemed pretty boring.

Amazing boyfriend had found a YouTube vid a few weeks ago where a woman made french toast out of a jelly sandwich (basically). He was interested in trying that out. Then we started talking about the delish Stuffed French Toast at IHOP (which, incidentally, he has never had). So I was thinking "hey, how about making our own?"

I picked up a package of cream cheese and some strawberry jam. I decided to make three different versions of the stuffed french toast, and we could decide what we liked best.

I beat the cream cheese with 1/3 cup of confectioners sugar. Then I split it in half, and added 2 tablespoons of strawberry jam to one half of the cream cheese mixture. (In hindsight 1 tablespoon probably would have been enough. It got a little runny).

I did a couple with just plain strawberry jam. They were tasty, but a bit too sweet for my liking.

I loved the cream cheese versions though. They were incredibly yummy!

The baby wasn't a fan, but it may have been because she was snacking while I was cooking. I never know with her :)

So, the verdict is - success! I should let myself experiment more often. I need to learn to trust myself more in the kitchen. It's never been my thing, but I would like to get to the point where I don't feel intimidated, or the insane need to have a recipe to follow explicitly.

Feeling Blah

I don't know what is going on with me. I'm feeling so blah today. I don't know what I want or need to feel better. I guess I'm just in one of my moods.

This week has been a doozy. I've been sick all week, combined with the joys of my monthly visitor, and now there is something funky going on with my eye. It hurts and the lid is swollen. I look like Quasimodo.

When I get in these little funks, I feel like nothing in the world is going right. I feel like I'm not loved enough, like I'm not good enough, and my self-esteem hits rock bottom. It makes no sense. I sure as heck can't figure it out.

I sorta just want to go home and lay in bed. I think part of my problem is the anticipation of Kendal being with her "father" all weekend. Sure, there aren't overnights yet, but still, I miss her all day while she's gone. It's hard.

Maybe I'll see if my wonderfulamazinghandsomefunnysweet boyfriend wants to do something different this weekend. We don't have either of the kids. Maybe a long drive. Just go exploring. That could be fun. At least tomorrow the sun will be out. Beats this rainy, gloomy day.

Children are germ bags

Yes, I said it. Children are little germ bags. They carry illness and pass it on like it's their job. And mine does it with a smile on her face and a song in her heart.

I took the babe to see her cousin at my parents house on Saturday. I get there, and my niece has snot running down her face like crazy. Wonderful. But I'm already there, so let the germ fest commence. The girls played and had a great time.

Sunday my little one decides she wants to sleep her life away, and by late afternoon there is that damn runny nose. Oh well. She's with her cousin almost everyday (my sister babysits), so I'm used to them sharing their colds. But that also means I know what's next.

That's right. You guessed it. I'm sick. As a dog. It got to the point today where my TEETH hurt I was so head-achy and congested. I barely made it home without having a nervous breakdown because of the endless dripping of my nose and the ache in my entire body. Why do I get it 10 times worse than the children that gave it to me? It's just wrong.

But, all in all, that's why there is Sudafed and Advil. Illness is just a hazard of the job. I'm just thankful that the baby isn't nearly as miserable as I am. She's just happy and running around. And I have to catch her every 10 minutes to wipe her snot.

Quiet Time

Sometimes, when the princess is napping, I get a little bit of quiet time to myself. I enjoy it. I may not do much of anything, but I think that's ok. I just bathe myself in the silence and lack of activity.

It seems that we're always on the go these days. It's a long commute during the week to work/babysitter. And every other weekend she spends with her bio dad. Although I treasure every second of our crazy lives, and I would never trade in any moment that I have with her (the good, bad, or screaming), it's moments like these when I enjoy a bit of quiet reflection.

Sometimes I think about where I've been. Sometimes I look at what the future holds. I am trying to learn the joy of just concentrating on the moment, though. It seems that so often we are all so caught up in the past or in what happens next that we forget to enjoy the here and now. I need to get better about that, because I don't want life to pass me by.

So for today, in whatever short amount of time I have left before she wakes from her nap and we're on to the next thing, I'm going to sit here and just enjoy NOW. I'm not going to think about what we have to do when she wakes up. I'm just going to be present right here, right now, and be thankful for everything that exists in this moment.

Here I am

It's so funny. You create a blog. You post for a while. You don't really keep up with it. But, I'm trying again to find something that inspires me to keep writing. My other blogs (the ones I don't write in anymore) are too themed, too specific, and too hard to find inspiration to write for. Yes, I know, many blogs are themed, but right now I just need someplace to babble about everything and anything.

So, I come to Blogger, with a hope for something more than just a failed attempt at keeping up with my life. I'm hoping that I'll be able to share, to laugh, and to cry here. To just recount my day to day life.

My goals with this blog are simple. I just want this for myself. If along the way I find followers, or a more focused topic, that will just be a bonus :)